For almost the entirety of my life, I have been in the habit of
making a complete fool of myself in front of total strangers. To
prevent my self-esteem from plummeting to the depths of the lowest of
self-esteems...I have learned to laugh at my follies.
Despite this misfortune, which has plagued me for so long, I am
proud to announce that today my roommate Amy has beaten me in the
“COUNT OF EMBARRASSING SITUATIONS.”
Scenario #1:
Morning.
Becca quietly stands in the restroom brushing her teeth. The sound of her suitemates in the adjacent room, though muffled, is quite evident.
Amy enters the scene.
Amy: BURRRRR! IT’S COLD IN HERE!! IT MUST BE THE COLDNESS IN THE ATMOUSPHERE!!!
Becca quickly drags Amy into the privacy of their own room, knowing their witness to their suitemates is at stake.
Scenario #2:
Afternoon.
Becca sits reading a book while Amy quietly takes a nap.
A knock is heard at the door and Becca moves to answer it.
Their friend Lance, who lives but a floor above them, has come to offer and friendly “hello.”
Amy, having heard the knock as well, sits up and questions Becca as to who is at the door.
As fate would have it, Amy's sleep, or
perhaps lack thereof, was affecting her mind as she imagined Lance to
have already come and gone.
In a joking manner, though appearing serious enough to cause discomfort to everyone present:
Amy: What did lance want? Did he ask you on a date?
Awkward silence
Becca: Amy…Lance is still here.
Awkward Silence
Scenario #3:
Night.
Becca and Amy happen upon a group of 15 unsuspecting freshman happily playing a game of Cranium.
The two girls stop for a few minutes to say hello to a some friends.
Upon leaving the room, Amy draws
attention to herself so that the entire room, filled with mostly people she doesn’t know,
turns to hear the words of wisdom she has to offer.
Amy: Remember, Sunday morning starts Saturday night!!!
Awkward Silence.
(to read these accounts from the perspective of my unfortunate roommate....click on http://xanga.com/soonerspaz)
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